Planning a Successful Surprise Proposal: Tips and Tricks
Confessions of a minnesota + destination proposal photographer:
How to Successfully Plan a Surprise Proposal
Planning a surprise proposal is one of the most exciting yet nerve-wracking experiences you can undertake. It’s a chance to create a memory that your partner will cherish forever.
To help you pull off a proposal that’s meaningful, unforgettable, and truly a surprise, here’s a step-by-step guide to ensure everything goes smoothly.
1. Know Your Partner’s Preferences
The first and most important step is understanding what your partner would love. Are they someone who thrives on grand gestures, or do they prefer intimate, low-key moments? Are they okay with others being around or do they want privacy? Consider their personality, preferences, and dreams. For example, a public proposal at a crowded location might be perfect for someone who loves attention, but it could feel overwhelming for someone who values privacy. Keep their comfort and happiness at the center of your plan.
2. Choose the Perfect Location
The setting plays a huge role in making the proposal special. Think about places that are meaningful to your relationship, like where you had your first date, a favorite hiking spot, or a dream vacation destination. If there isn’t a specific place tied to your story, choose a location that aligns with your partner’s tastes—whether it’s a quiet beach, a cozy home setting, or a breathtaking city skyline. Think about whats going on at those locations when you want to pop the question. Are there any events that will make it crowded? What will the weather be like?
3. Pick the Right Time
Timing is everything. When it comes to keeping it a complete surprise, a totally random day can make a big difference. But if your partner might like the sentiment of it being on a special day, maybe consider significant dates, like anniversaries or birthdays. Also plan ahead to ensure the time of day suits the mood and the experience you want to have. For example, a sunset proposal can add a romantic glow to the moment and would be great lighting for photos, but it could be too late in the day if you wanted to plan activities after the proposal.
4. the Ring
If you don’t want your partner to be wondering when you’ll pop the question and feeling suspicious in the weeks or months leading up to the surprise proposal, get creative in keeping that ring hidden and secure!
5. Involve the Right People
Decide if you want to include friends or family in the proposal. If your partner is close to their loved ones, having them present could make the moment even more meaningful. If you prefer a more private proposal, planning a surprise celebration afterward can be the perfect balance and a fun extra surprise!
6. Plan the Details
Every successful surprise proposal hinges on thoughtful planning. Play out the day in your head, step-by-step and try to think of the little logistics. Think about how you’ll keep the proposal a secret—create a believable story if you need to get your partner to a specific location without arousing suspicion. Details like flowers, a picnic, special props or a date like element can elevate the atmosphere and make the moment even more magical. If you do include any props, make sure you keep those items and receipts hidden too!
7. Capture the Moment
Photographing your proposal is about capturing the pure magic of the moment—the joy, surprise, and overwhelming love that words can’t fully express. Hiring a professional photographer is a great way to keep it discreet so theres no spoiling the surprise. Photographers that specialize in proposals like Lovdahl Photography have long lenses that allow them to be many meters away while getting the shot and have lots of experience ensuring the other person doesn’t suspect a thing.
Photographing your proposal is so important. It’s about capturing the pure magic of the moment—the joy, surprise, and overwhelming love that words can’t fully express. It’s a chance to freeze time and hold onto the look in your partner’s eyes, the happy tears, and the heartfelt "yes" that changes everything. These photos become a cherished keepsake, a way to relive the start of a beautiful new chapter, and a memory to share with loved ones and future generations. It’s a moment worth remembering forever.
8. Be Flexible
I have never heard of a proposal story going exactly as planned. Even with careful planning, things don’t always go as expected—and that’s okay! Weather, timing, or even your partner’s mood can influence the moment. Stay adaptable and focus on the essence of the proposal: your love and commitment. Think about the ways it might not go as planned, have back up plans and mentally prepare yourself to be relaxed and ready to embrace the unpredictable. Sometimes it can tip the other partner off that something is up when we have our mind set on it going in a certain way and you start to act weird when it’s not going as planned. Often, the unexpected elements make the story even more memorable.
9. Mislead them
If you have an extra intuitive partner who was probably a detective in another life, you could be extra sneaky and really cover all your basis by lovingly misleading them. Maybe anytime marriage or getting engaged comes up, you could ensure you talk about it as if it’s further in the future than your plan to propose. For example if you both are ready to get engaged and you plan on proposing in the summer, you could mention that you wanna wait until things settle down in the winter. Or maybe you hint at waiting until after a milestone like, settling into the new job, after busy season, after the holidays etc.
CAUTION! BE MINDFUL WITH THIS ONE. I have heard of people taking this too far and if it is not done with care, you could hurt your partner or cause unintentional conflict. For example, I have heard stories where the proposing partner avoided all conversations about it to not give anything away which left the other partner wondering if they want the same things. Another example is of a proposing partner saying they just aren’t ready yet when they’re actually in the process of getting the ring, but the other partner wondered if they were growing in the same direction. Ensure you don’t cause your partner emotional distress. This should be done thoughtfully and with care.
RAPID FIRE tips for a smooth surprise proposal:
Stay calm: Nerves are normal, but remember—this is about love, not perfection. Take a deep breath and enjoy the moment.
Have a backup plan: If the weather changes or plans fall through, have an alternate idea ready to go.
Don’t overcomplicate it: Sometimes, the simplest proposals are the most heartfelt.
Double-check the details: Confirm reservations, check the ring, and ensure any props or decorations are ready.
Trust your instincts: You know your partner best. Go with what feels right for your relationship.
Hire a photographer - like Lovdahl Photography - who absolutely loves to help plan and set up proposals so you have some support and know your special moment will be documented with care.
Planning a surprise proposal is an incredible opportunity to show your partner how much they mean to you. By focusing on their happiness, putting thought into every detail, and staying true to your relationship’s unique story, you’re sure to create a moment that’s filled with love, joy, and excitement. Good luck—and get ready for that big “Yes!”
Your story is bigger than words and deserves to be documented!
Hey! I’m Alyssa Lovdahl.
I’m a Minnesota based destination wedding photographer that focuses on capturing your authentic story so when you look back on your photos, the memory of your experience is as vivid and beautiful as the day it was first captured.
THIS IS YOUR STORY AND YOUR PHOTOS SHOULD AUTHENTICALLY REFLECT YOU. THE FACT THAT I GET TO CAPTURE THESE MOMENTS, STOP TIME AND HAND THEM ONTO YOU TO BE REMEMBERED FOREVER IS the sweetest tHING.